Senryu So Sad It's Funny

The annual Salaryman Senryu Contest finished with some great works of poetry from the beaten down Japanese businessmen.

My favorite:
The only warmth in my life is the heated toilet seat
[Those toilet seats are very strange, and I don't like the little bidet button. Plus there are other buttons that do strange things. I've got an open mind, but don't tickle my ass with a cool breeze please.)

Other good ones:
Dad, please, a ride, save a seat, be in charge of the camera, and take out the trash

Got it But the features have already been upgraded to the next generation

My wife is waiting!! until she can grab half of my pension

Only my navigation system says "well done" and recognizes my services