Tokyo Tilapia

Random thoughts from the road:

If you order Beef Sukiyaki, you are expected to put the raw egg on your beef and rice, mix it around, and not make faces at the prospect of eating raw egg. I've been assured, that raw egg is fresh.

For some reason, it's a bit in-fashion here for the women to be pigeon-toed. Kind of strange, and has led to some serious leg problems, from where I'm sitting.

If you've got $300,000.00 to blow on a cell phone, this is your phone.


This phone company also offers a 'modest' phone at $4,350 in case you are pinching pennies. More ridiculous phones here.

Goode Rhymes with Food

This guy is an idiot.

"without immigration reform, we will have many more Muslims in the United States."

What ignorance, and so much a part of the mainstream thinking that this guy can write his constituents to reassure them that he is working hard to keep Muslims out of the country. And that he will work to keep Muslims out of office. And that he will work to marginalize the one elected Muslim by insisting that he use the Bible to swear in.

Doing the good work. What an ass.

Tokyo Tempest

Bizarre things that happened today:

I (a German-Jamaican-American) had a discussion with a group of Japanese men about how to best teach American children English using a 50 year-old Japanese method.

I had sizzling steak served on a hot plate.. at a fast-food joint called Pepper Lunch, where you buy your dinner out of the machine.

I watched a semi-pro baseball team double as grounds crew during the seventh inning stretch.

Tokyo Terror

I had a horrible thought today: are the men of Tokyo the new elves? Seriously, there are enough pointed shoes and frilly layers here to clothe all of Middle Earth.

I thought for a moment on the subway today that America had closed the gap on Japans gadget supremacy: there are ads on the subway here for the MotoRazr, which is like, sooo six months ago.

But then I watched a businesswoman show off her new phone to her coworkers. She was showing the HDTV as we rocketed along on the subway. On a phone just a little thicker than the Razr.

Coming soon to America. In 2008.

This Blog Would Like to Crack a Joke

Butt if you ass Stephen Murmer, he is "certainly proud" of "Butt Tulips," his ass-painting. Enough to get suspended from his job.

I couldn't find an image on ebay or google, let me know if you find the Butt Tulips. No matter what they look like, they probably are better than this atrocity:



(A cross-stitching copy of a Norman Rockwell painting, done by a Prisoner.)

Speaking of prison art, this guy is in solitary confinement, and sucks the color out of M&Ms, then gathers his own hair with plastic wrap and foil to make his brush. I think that takes more dedication than dumping your ass in paint and plopping it on some paper. Then again, a prisoner in solitary confinement has a lot more time. Here's what he came up with:

This Blog Highly Recommends

www.gizmodo.com

It's full of funny gizmos and gadgets like Lasersquash, "the game of the future if it was 1977."

Soy Will Shrink Your Penis

This man here makes such spurrious claims about un-fermented soy products. He's really really worried about the world's penises. Maybe he's gay, like many other crazy right-wing conervative pundits.


Or maybe he's just freaking nuts. Love his "mental leap" from shrunken penises to being gay. How offensive.

I love the "research suggests" line. My "research suggests" that people named Jim Rutz have major penis envy, homophobic tendencies, and problems with receding hairlines.

And no, I won't cite my sources, biotch.

Frog Robot Condom Fighting

This picture won't help you understand at all.



You'll just have to go and read about this, because scientists have just as dirty minds as you do.

JERSEY CITY BABY

This is not exactly a glowing review, but I like the headline!

Passing Gas is Always Funny

My favorite quote in this:

"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."

Schadenfreude

It's not nice to feel good about other people's pain, but I do feel good about this.

Tasty Profiling

Better watch what meal you order for your flight! It could mean you are a terrorist.

Virtually every person entering and leaving the United States by air, sea or land is scored by the Homeland Security Department's Automated Targeting System, or ATS. The scores are based on ATS' analysis of their travel records and other data, including items such as where they are from, how they paid for tickets, their motor vehicle records, past one-way travel, seating preference and what kind of meal they ordered.

Of course I'm not saying that they shouldn't do this. But I'm not sure about the efficacy checking their meal. Vegetarians are terrorists!