Monday, July 31, 2006

Fucking Yankees

I like Bobby Abreu - a solid player that is better than his batting average shows. He's got more walks than Bonds, and can run. He's solid, seems like a nice guy.

And now he's on the freaking Yankees. They just bought up three players like it was nothing.

200+ million dollars better buy a championship, or I'll laugh derisively at Yankee fans everywhere.

They enjoyed our "Jeter Sucks A-Rod" chants when we went to the Yanks-Sox game recently. So much so that someone started the personal attacks: "NO-SEX-HAIR" and "Good luck with that 'do, dude, you'd be lucky to suck a rod."

I was the better man and walked away. From the slimy, acne-ridden, monkey fucker.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Wax n' wane

Wow. They sure make those things anatomically correct.

Even if that doesn't look anything like Brad Pitt, you know he's got the twig and berries below.

How comforting.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

will this help my google results?

eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno eno?

eno?

No, not this eno

Kind of this eno

Thank god this eno cut his hair!

You can drink at this eno

Don't drink from this eno

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Bush loves black people

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

yes, that was what college was like

Monday, July 17, 2006

thing i saw that made me laugh

on the path on the way home last night:

a nicely dressed, slightly balding chinese dude trying to talk game to this girl. he was wearing a D&G shirt, pre-ripped jeans, and a kiehl's bag over his shoulder.

and holding on to the train with one hand as the drunken path driver whipped our train to hoboken and almost threw this dude to the ground twice.

every muscle in that forearm was flexed, but he was still looking cool.

with that kiehl's bag over his shoulder the whole time.

thing i saw that made me sad

driving home the other day, through union city, new jersey (armpit of the usa):

a man beating on his girlfriend/wife so hard, while driving, that he was swerving into people's lanes and almost hit me twice.

in my rush to get the fuck away from the crazy man, i forgot to get his license number. of course, i'm sure he'll get his reckoning sooner or later.

Friday, July 14, 2006

it is possible to love your rat terrier too much

runner's high

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Zidane Zupdate

now, this is just zilly.


Zizou Remix

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Zidane Zupdate

don't get into an argument with a republican

i say something like this:

so are we to learn from bush that shirking one's duty to the government, by avoiding doing anything of consequence during a military draft, is okay? and between the two, which would you say is more consequential to the future of our nation? the blowjob, really?

i don't look to my president, or my ball players, for guidance on moral issues. i'd actually like my government to avoid imaking moral decisions for me as much as possible. that way, i can control my own destiny. if i make immoral decisions, i'll live the life i've decided on.



and they'll say something like this:

"that shirking one's duty to the government", and you think a liar who screws behind his wifes back was the only place he did that??!!!! he was SHIRKING his duty to the government and country by the way he handled china, YEMEN, and many other areas of leadership when he was in control??!!!!!! he wasnt just a liar in one area, he lied every time he opened his mouth if it benefited him...nice leader!? you arent that blind are you??!! GUESS WHAT?!! this country was founded on GOD and moral beliefs and the ability to keep them sacred....if you dont want to have a government making those types of decisions or having that influence, you can find many countries that believe the same way in that arena! our liberal judges have tried to accomplish that over the years as well.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Zidane Zupdate

From Wikipedia:

Regarding to what the argument was about, Zidane's agent Alain Migliaccio said, "[Zidane] told me Materazzi said something very serious to him but he wouldn't tell me what." [13] Reportedly, the deaf forensic lip-reader Jessica Rees was employed to analyze the video sequences with the help of an Italian translator. Another such analysis was carried out by French lip-reader Marianne Frère. According to these reports, Materazzi spoke in Italian - a language understood by Zidane due to his time spent with Juventus F.C. - and told him: "Hold on, wait, that one's not for a feccia (i.e. 'shit', 'scum') like you." Zidane then reacted to Materazzi picking his shirt, and allegedly said that, if Materazzi really wanted to have his shirt, he could have it afterwards. It is unclear what he specifically said and if he told Materazzi to stop picking his shirt beforehand. Materazzi allegedly replied: "I'd rather take the shirt off your wife." As the players walked forward, he reportedly added: "We all know you are the son of a terrorist whore." Then, just before the headbutt, he is seen saying: "Vaffanculo (i.e. 'fuck off')" [14] [15] [16] According to Brazilian TV Rede Globo, a lip-reader claimed that Materazzi twice called Zidane's sister a prostitute. [17]

an experiment for the ages

Monday, July 10, 2006

craZy Zidane

so that was a weird world cup final, huh? how strange was that Zidane headbutt?

apparently not so strange. here's an informal list of like occurences in his recent past:

Zidane got a red card for headbutting Hamburg in the 2000-2001 Champions League.
He was also red carded for stomping on a Saudi in the 98 World Cup.
And don't forget he was suspended from the third game of this year's group stage.
All told he has supposedly racked up a dozen red cards.

and we've been speculating about reasons why. i speculated that the comment was racist, as Z seemed to snap. RUMOR has it:

Matterazi called him a terrorist.

SF Chronicle Article about Zidane's History and Possible Matterazi Comment

Friday, July 07, 2006

For My Hooligans in Brooklyn

www.thepoolparties.com

free concerts in the 50,000 foot revamped ruins of a community pool

dodge ball, beer, burgers, and a 27 foot Slip N Slide

Sunday 2-8 pm

McCarren Park, Lorikmer Street b/t Driggs and Bayard Aves, WBurg

Tea Time in Tokyo

Actually, it's 4:20.

Been looking at children's books at the Tokyo International Book Fair, and gettting excited. Going into illustrated books will be lots of fun, and there is great stuff out there.

Also wanted to report that the Guitar Store across the street is called Rim Shot.

Isn't that a sexual procedure?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

eno-machines for everyone

Got an email about this today:

Eno-Machines @ Union Square Wines & Spirits,
140 4th Ave, @ 13th St (212-675-8100)

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Continuous Partial Attention is my middle name

July 5, 2006
Op-Ed Columnist

The Age of Interruption

Lima, Peru

The best part of this job is being able to step outside of your routine and occasionally look at the world through a completely different lens. The Peruvian Amazon rain forest is such a lens, and looking at the world through this dense jungle has given me new perspectives on two issues — Middle East violence and the spread of the Internet.

What is so striking about the rain forest, when viewed up close, is what an incredibly violent place it is — with trees, plants and vines all struggling with each other for sunlight, and animals, insects and birds doing the same for food. I was always impressed at how our Peruvian Indian guide would identify a certain bird or wild pig or possum or parrot and immediately add who its predators were. In the rain forest, everyone and everything is part of a matched pair of predator and prey.

Yes, there is nothing like the violence of a rain forest, but it is violence with an identifiable purpose: plants and animals demarcating and protecting territory for the survival of their species.

I have to say that the violence unfolding between Israelis and Palestinians today is utterly without purpose. Israel has evacuated Gaza, and what does Hamas do? It doesn't put all its energy into building a nest for its young there — a decent state and society, with jobs. Instead, it launches hundreds of rockets into Israel.

The Palestinians could have a state on the West Bank, Gaza and East Jerusalem tomorrow, if they and the Arab League clearly recognized Israel, normalized relations and renounced violence. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know Israel today. But those driving Palestinian politics seem determined to destroy Israel in its territory — even if it means destroying themselves in their own territory. Species that behave that way in the rain forest become extinct.

As for the Internet in the rain forest, my point is this: There is none. Yes, I had to go to the Tambopata Research Center, deep in the Peruvian Amazon, to find it, but I can report there is still a place with no Internet or cellphone service. Of course, there are still many such places, but the fact that people could use their cellphones from atop the sacred Incan ruin of Machu Picchu, in the Andes, reminds one that there are fewer and fewer every day.

I have to say, as a wired junkie myself, there was something cleansing about spending four days totally disconnected. It was the best antidote to the disease of our age, what the former Microsoft executive Linda Stone aptly labeled "continuous partial attention."

Continuous partial attention is when you are on the Internet or cellphone or BlackBerry while also watching TV, typing on your computer and answering a question from your kid. That is, you are multitasking your way through the day, continuously devoting only partial attention to each act or person you encounter.

It is the malady of modernity. We have gone from the Iron Age to the Industrial Age to the Information Age to the Age of Interruption.

All we do now is interrupt each other or ourselves with instant messages, e-mail, spam or cellphone rings. Who can think or write or innovate under such conditions? One wonders whether the Age of Interruption will lead to a decline in civilization — as ideas and attention spans shrink and we all get diagnosed with some version of Attention Deficit Disorder.

I know that connectivity means productivity. But it is possible to overdose. There is such a thing as "too connected," and modern society is heading in that direction, as more people at more income levels get wired. Everyone we met in Peru had a cellphone, since Peru, like so many developing countries, is going straight from no phones to cellphones, skipping over land lines.

It means everyone is always "in." You're never "out." Out is over. Maybe soon we'll have to artificially recreate "out." Maybe soon we'll see an ad for a Four Seasons resort that says, "We guarantee that every room comes without Internet service."

What struck me about our Peruvian rain forest guide, Gilbert, though, was that he carried no devices and did not suffer from continuous partial attention. Just the opposite. He heard every chirp, whistle, howl or crackle in the rain forest and would stop us in our tracks and immediately identify what bird, insect or animal it was. He also had incredible vision and never missed a spider's web, or a butterfly, or a toucan, or a column of marching termites.

He was totally disconnected from the Web, but totally in touch with the incredible web of life around him. I wonder if there's a lesson there.

Tokyo T-shirt Update

So I've been to Shinjuku Station enough times that I thought it was not a big deal to take a different train - to the same station.

That is not the case. An hour later, I finally found the exit that I was used to. An hour. underground. Going from exit #A7 to exit #B9. I was cursing out loud by the end (I talk out loud in English in Japan sometimes).

Anyway, I saw some funny t-shirts today:

"Green" in green on a white t-shirt.

"Sleep" in black on a white t-shirt.

"Sess and Peace" on a tan shirt. That was the kicker of the day.

Then I went and ate myself silly on boat-sushi for $16. Pretty awesome.

That reminds me. It seems the in-thing right now among some youths is sporting a huge perm. And I mean like 3-5 inches of poofy hair, somewhere between Elvis and Dolly Parton in looks. These are probably the same kids that used to sport the fake tans, but it's pretty funny. They are as vain as I am about their hair, too, stopping to look at it, and smoothing it down at traffic lights.

pretty funny.

Moment of the day: I got carried away on my Ipod, and was talking out loud anyway, and sang, pretty fucking loud:

"I got five on it! Messing with that endo weed! I got five on it! Brother, let's go half on a sack!!!!"

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

i'll trade you Al-Z for OBL

i'm not saying Al-Zarqawi's wife is telling the truth, but the fact that these two articles came out on the same day is kind of interesting.

in the first, Al-Zarqawi's wife says that her husband was sold for a promise to "let up in the search for Osama Bin Laden."

in the second, the CIA announces that they are closing the alec station, a division of the CIA that has been dedicated, for the past decade, to searching for OBL.

at the very least, it reminds me that it is kind of strange that we've been looking for this one man so long, and haven't found him. would we rather have him as a scapegoat, so that we can continue the military-industrial complex that is in place, in an effort to outgun the boogieman? is it just that the large amounts of money we have offered hasn't turned a single person that knows where OBL is?

either answer to the question, in my opinion, is pretty intersting/scary.

Al Z's Wife Ranting About Husband to the Associated Press

CIA Closes OBL-Hunting Unit

fuckity fuck (world cup)

fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuckfuckfuck FUCK

oh well. i guess italy was the better team, but germany was so close to bringing it to penalty kicks! and we all know italy has trouble with the penalty kicks.

who do i root for now? all my teams are out. i guess it's henry, zidane and the les bleus for me! certainly not the flopping, fouling portugese. and not italy, because that wound is still fresh.

i fell asleep after the game (it was on at 4am here in tokyo), and dreamed the klinsmann got on the pitch in the second half and scored two goals. sad.

looking back, i'm not sure what the german strength was. it certainly was not defense, we all knew that. and for all of their 'attacking style,' they didn't have one offensive person (maybe ballack) that could dribble the ball past a defender one on one. definitely not podolski or klose!

maybe they were lucky to get so far.

but it still hurts.

Tokyo Underpants

So I've been actually suffering my first bout of homesickness since I was shipped off to my Aunt when I was 6 years old.

I'm in Tokyo, and just waiting for my business trip to end.

How am I combatting the wish to be home?

Well, by eating lychee jello with real lychees in it in my underwear watching Japanese baseball, of course.

Go Yomiuri Giants! Always stick with Giants, no matter where I go.

But I thought I'd give a report from the road. It seems that the Japanese have wizened up mostly and don't wear badly translated t-shirts anymore.

Maggie is mighty fond of the 'Mildness' sweatshirt I bought her, but that isn't as bad as some of the classic badly translated stuff from the past.

This is a funny clinical description of Engrish: Wikipedia (Engrish)
This is a funny site that puts things INTO Engrish for you! Pigeond.net
This is just a funny site with examples: Howler Dictionary

Okay, you get the point. Anyway, the two best shirts I've seen so far make a lot of sense:

You're right -
Too successful for you.

and

My bank account may be overdrawn,
but I still have some checks!

(honorable mention to the hot pink Chicago Bulls shirt, only because I wasn't sure that maybe it was just a laundry accident. didn't look like it, but could have been).

Anyway, back to the Giants game! Ah, feels like home.

Dang it. I just hit my head on the roof of my room, and then hurt my knee on the desk as I tried to hop off the bed.

Not quite home. A lot smaller. And soy-i-er.

eno

jersey city

It's funny. Ask me where I live, and you might get a whopper of a response. I'll say anything but where I live.

It's great. Four-story brownstones, dog parks, hipsters, close to downtown. All-night subway. Did I mention close to downtown? And the park?

No, Eno, where do you live?

....

What was that?

Jersey City, BABY.

It's hard to tell what came first, though. The complex or the misconceptions. I feel like I live in Sodom or Gomorrah sometimes, but really, it's not that bad

Really.

Monday, July 03, 2006

happy birthday

perhaps this isn't much of a present, but i think you'll have fun with it. i look forward to ready your sports/jersey city/po mo postings everyday.

love,
maggie

to my favorite

boyfriend. please come back from japan so we can properly celebrate your birthday and watch the world cup final together and eat hamburgers.